about my drafting brain

Sometimes I feel like unless I have something meaningful to say (or what I would consider meaningful, anyway), I can’t write a newsletter. But I have to be honest, I’m so deep in the drafting trenches right now that I have nothing in my brain except these characters, their dialogue, the next scene I need to write, a new moment I want to make happen between them.

I cannot overstate what a miracle it is that I’m writing like this. I don’t know if any of you have ever stopped doing something you love because it simply poof, left you, but that’s what writing did to me. For a really long time, in fact. It’s so weird to do something for years and years and years—in my case, since I was eight—and then to not be able to do it at all. 2024 and the first half of 2025 was marked by total silence in my brain; no dialogue, no story ideas, no characters popping up unannounced. I really felt like I lost part of myself. I really felt like I was never going to put a book out again. And while the idea of that was sad, sure, the thing that put me into a real darkness was the feeling that I was never going to write again. Just for me, because I wanted to. Because there was someone talking in my head so loud I’d have to pull my car over to jot down the notes. Because I needed to work through something or understand something or understand myself. I didn’t know what to do with the possibility that this thing I’d been doing for basically my whole life had simply left my body. It felt like I’d betrayed myself in some way.

I waited for it to come back. And when it did, I was scared to say it because it still felt like I was accessing my ability to write from some very muffled space. Because I knew it could go away again, and probably would. Even now, writing this while I’m not done with my draft feels really cocky. I could get knocked down again. My brain could decide it doesn’t want to cooperate, especially as I get closer to the end and realize that at some point I’m going to have to actually publish this book (which, trust me, is a terrifying thought).

The other night I was working on a chapter. This book is single POV, same as the others, and my main character was thinking about this thing she used to love to do that she hadn’t done in months, but was coming back to in this scene. When I wrote this line:

It was so easy to let it go. So unbearable, too, because it’s the natural way I look at the world and it felt like leaving myself behind.

I was thinking about my own loss with writing. And when I wrote this line:

You looked like you loved it, he said, and I know that’s what he’s seeing now. I can feel it in my body, something returning to me.

I was thinking about this draft, and how impossible it would’ve been this time last year, and how meta it is that I’m walking my main character through some return to herself while I’m doing the same. I really try not to put too much of myself into my books, because despite the vibe I give off, I do NOT love sharing my more vulnerable thoughts. But at the same time, I find it impossible (apparently) not to put little pieces of myself into everything I write, even this newsletter.

At any rate, the writing is still happening and it’s overtaking my ability to do anything else, include write newsletters that are about anything else, so this is what you’re getting from me. Definitely until 2026 hits which, by the way, is when I’ll have some news for you 🙂‍↔️

proof of book

I don’t want to tell you too much about this book, but for those who have missed me talking about it before, it’s not the one I announced back in whatever the hell year it was—2023?!—called The Soulmate Charade. It’s a different concept, different characters, and it’s quite frankly just stuffed with all of the things I love most (which I will tell you about later).

What I can tell you is that it’s set in a fictional town just below Carmel, California, so we’re getting seaside, we’re getting late winter/early spring coastal goodness. This is NOT the Summer book you’re used to getting from me. I recently did a little writing retreat down in Carmel to soak up the vibes and it felt like I could turn a corner and see my little obsessed-with-each-other-but-won’t-say-it characters flirting outrageously with each other in front of some quaint shop. Here are some pictures to pass on the vibes:

One of these things isn't like the other, I know, but the NL Wild Card series was on while I was there and I'm a huge Cubs fan so I had to have the game on while I was working hehe

And I can also tell you I have a few trusted people reading as I write and I’m living for their words of affirmation (my love language, to probably no one’s surprise):

I’m both excited and terrified to tell you more about this book when the time comes, and to share it with you on bookshelves when that time comes. More info to come.

(apparently this post is too long for email, but if you’re interested in additional book 3 vibes, make sure you find your way to the p.s. at the end)

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My holiday novella, A Risk Worth Taking, is on sale for $0.99! You can get it here (Amazon) or here (all other retailers). Will go through the end of the year.

A one-night stand between strangers turns into a weekend-long tryst, but it could end up being something more—if they’re willing to take the risk. A steamy holiday novelette!

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The debut of my best friend, Lavanya Lakshmi, has both a GORGEOUS cover (see below) and is available to request on NetGalley! This beautiful book is part family drama, part romantic comedy, and a total masterpiece. This is how I describe it in my official blurb (in my heart, at least, the published version got shortened!):

“Leave & Come Back is the kind of book that stays with you forever, with stunning reflections on leaving home in all its forms—people, places—and finding them again (and again). Lavanya Lakshmi has created characters who feel so real it’s like you can hear their hearts beating through the page. But it’s the fact that you can hear her heart beating there, too, that makes this book and author so special. A deeply moving, supremely witty, simply phenomenal debut from my favorite writer in the world.”

The way my heart describes it is harder to quantify, but Lavanya’s writing is part of me just like her friendship is: inextricably. I love this book and its author so very much and highly recommend you request Leave and Come Back TODAY. HERE is the link!

And HERE is the cover:

Inspired by iconic Bollywood film DDLJ and in the vein of Kevin Kwan’s Crazy Rich Asians and Curtis Sittenfeld’s Romantic Comedy, LEAVE & COME BACK follows a young woman who is estranged from her family returning home for a two week-long Indian wedding. When her new, white boyfriend shows up unexpectedly, her cousins rally to help him win over the family matriarch.

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My website is back online! It got a much-needed, gorgeous update from Ada at Archetype. She is a genius and so kind and really gave me a place that feels like an extension of me and my personality.

This also means that my contact form is back up, so if you need to reach out you can do it that way once again!

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All right, that’s it for me until 2026, my friends. Be good, take care of yourselves, love you.

xoxo

jess

p.s. bc I really do love you, here are a few bits and baubles I’ve saved that accurately describe the vibe of book 3: